I recently started this blog as an extension of my Twitter and Tumblr accounts. I wanted to start the blog as a way to offer more help and resources for INFJs and address certain topics more thoroughly than I am able to on Twitter and Tumblr. But even as I sit here writing these words, my mind is full of doubt. Who am I to offer any sort of advice for INFJs?
And because I need to analyze every thought, I ask myself what is causing this doubt? I think about some of my INFJ friends and I know that doubt is something that many of them struggle with as well. There are so many great qualities that INFJs possess, so then why are we always at constant battle with ourselves?
There are a few things that cause doubt specifically in INFJs, and learning to both accept and work through these things is important when it comes to reaching our full potential.
1. Idealism. INFJs, like all NFs, are idealist. We see the world not as it is, but as it should be. Because of this we have high expectations for ourselves and others. Everything we do needs to have meaning. This idealism causes INFJs to doubt ourselves regularly. Are we really doing all we can be doing to make a difference? If we make a decision for ourselves, is that being selfish and should we consider the opinions of others more? Because INFJs see the world in shades of grey, rather than black and white, outside opinions weigh heavily on our shoulders, and so we spend a lot of time looking at something from every perspective instead of just following our intuition, which is usually right to begin with.
2. Authenticity. INFJs value authenticity over almost anything else and it is so important for us to always come across as genuine. Because of this value, we can be really hurt any time anyone accuses us of being fake or having hidden intentions. Authenticity is also something that causes self-doubt in INFJs. When trying to make a decision we ask ourselves, ¨By making this choice am I really being true to myself?¨ For example, if an INFJ dreams of being an actor and ends up becoming famous, they will probably struggle with doubt and guilt, because becoming famous was not their intention when they went into acting, and the celebrity image might not be true to their real personality.
3. Perfection. Like other J types, INFJs are perfectionists. And in our minds, nothing we do is ever as perfect as it should be. I love to write, and I do so almost every day, but I’ve only actually published maybe 1% of anything I’ve ever written. This is probably the hardest hurdle of doubt for INFJs to get over, but it’s important to learn to let go of our internal perfectionism when it comes to going after what we really want in life.
4. Laziness. Ok, this isn’t an INFJ-specific quality. In fact many INFJs are extremely hard workers and I definitely wouldn’t use lazy to describe them. But sometimes when you struggle with a lot of doubt, it seems easier to just escape from the doubt by giving up completely and spending all your time watching Netflix instead of pursuing your passion. All humans are guilty of this. But don’t sit around and let the doubt win. Get off your butt and show it who’s boss. 🙂
Do you agree/disagree? What steps have you taken to try to get over doubt?