Within the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, 8 types are Judgers and 8 types are Perceivers. Judgers like order, plans and organization, while Perceivers prefer to remain flexible, adaptable and spontaneous. If not understood, the J/P difference can cause several issues at work or school and with friends and family.
Telling the difference between Judger and Perceiver friends is pretty easy. You’re Judger friends are the ones who are always on time (if not early) for an event, volunteer to plan events and social outings, have everything they do on some sort of calendar or schedule, like to have plans set at least a week ahead of time, are good at meeting deadlines and get frustrated when things don’t go according to plan. If they invite you over for dinner at 7:00 p.m. it means dinner will be on the table at 7:00 p.m.
You’re perceiver friends are the ones who sometimes run late, like to keep their options open – likely not having set plans until the night before or day of, are easily adaptable to changes in plan, become frustrated with a strict routine and often procrastinate. If they invite you over for dinner at 7:00 p.m. it means dinner will be on the table around 7:30 or 8:00, or just whenever, ya know?
The environments we surround ourselves in can shape a natural J or P to seem more like the other, but in general these traits are pretty common among both preferences. So how can Judgers and Perceivers live in harmony with each other without driving each other crazy?
Here are a few things Perceivers should know about Judgers:
1. We place a high value on being on time. If someone is more than 15 minutes late for a meeting, we will probably become annoyed. If someone is more than 30 minutes late, we will feel disrespected. If someone is not able to meet at the scheduled time, we prefer to know in advance. We prefer to reschedule or even plan to meet an hour later if that means avoiding waiting for someone for a long period of time.
2. Last minute changes stress us out. If we plan an event and you RSVP to come solo, but then show up with a few guests, we’ll stress about how to accommodate for the extra guests and won’t be able to enjoy ourselves until we have that figured out.
3. We like closure. We are happiest when everything is clearly defined – whether that be a relationship, plans for the weekend, our role at work or within a group, etc.
4. Even quieter, introverted Js can become very assertive and direct when it comes to decisiveness. We don’t like to wait around for things to get done, so if a decision needs to be made and no one seems to care about making it, we’ll step up to the plate. This doesn’t mean we necessarily love to make decisions, but more so that we can’t stand indecisiveness, which for us correlates to wasted time.
5. We do know how to have fun. We don’t all walk around with sticks up our butts, never grinning unless everything is in order. Most Js can be flexible and adaptable when needed and can even do so while still having a good time. As long as Perceivers can understand and acknowledge that some of their actions can bother us, and simply attempt to take these facts into consideration when working, living or engaging with us, then we both can live in harmony.
As an INFJ, I don’t want to attempt to write advice from a Perceiver’s perspective, but I would love to hear from someone regarding what Judgers can do to better work, live and play with Ps.