“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.”
— Maya Angelou
INFJs tend to be decently rational idealists, except when it comes to love. We have feelings, a lot of them, and in no other situation do we feel those feelings deeper than when it comes to romance. While not all INFJs may subscribe to the idea that there is only one person out there for them, we do have high expectations for a significant other in ways that other types might not.
This is because most other types aren’t quite as idealistic when it comes to love, and for young INFJs or INFJs less experienced in the romance department, this can be hard to accept. As is stated by David Keirsey in Please Understand Me II:
“Finding the rare person with whom they can share their inner world is difficult for Idealists, a painful process of trial and error, and often they vow not to date at all for periods of time rather than go through the search… However, once the special person comes their way (the man or woman of their dreams), they can be carried away with their feelings, and give almost all their attention to pursuing the relationship.”
The search for the INFJ soulmate is something that makes INFJs despise typical dating routines, which feel forced and awkward. They are not a type that likes to date just for the fun of it, and prefer to form relationships out of deep friendship instead.
Once INFJs do find “the one”, they can make extremely caring and loyal partners, often putting their partner and the relationship as a top priority. INFJs love to learn about their partners and use what they know to better the relationship. INFJs are best matched with someone who shares this desire, otherwise they are likely to feel like they are not being appreciated or valued.
According to Keirsey and what I’ve seen from online sources, the ideal match for an INFJ is the ENTP. Although of course it’s possible for an INFJ to be happy with any type as long as they feel understood, cared for and valued.
As INFJs what is your experience with dating and relationships?