Living With an Introvert: What Extroverts Need to Know

Living with an introvert can be fun, but there are some things that extroverts need to understand.

This past weekend I met another introvert at one of the last places you would expect two introverts to be — a pub crawl.

We were both traveling alone and decided to fight the urge to stay in our hotel rooms binge-watching Netflix and instead go out and socialize with other travelers.

We ended up spending a good part of the weekend hanging out together and bonding over the many things we have in common as two young, female introverts.

One topic we discussed was the issue of living with extroverted roommates.

Although we both live alone now, we spent most of our college and early post-grad years living with extroverts. And we both had plenty of horror stories to share as a result.

Read More: Tips for the Introverted College Student

The conversation made me wonder — is living with an introvert really that hard for extroverts? And vice versa?

Of course it’s not impossible for introverts and extroverts to happily co-exists. People do it all the time.

But there are a few things that my new friend and I agreed would have made things a lot easier.

What Extroverts Need to Know About Living with an Introvert

Here are a few things we wish more extroverts understood about living with an introvert.

1. It may sound obvious but… introverts need alone time.

Everyone knows that introverts aren’t the most likely to be up for a party every night of the week.

But sometimes even tame extroverted activities, like going out to dinner or having people over for a wine and movie night, can be too much for an introvert.

Sometimes we really need to hibernate in our rooms with the doors closed and our headphones in, drowning out the rest of the world.

Don’t take it personally if your introverted roommate shuts themselves away on a Friday night.

It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t want to hang out with you. They just need alone time.

2. Many introverts are highly sensitive.

Highly sensitive means is that sensory things like loud music, crowded spaces, or the sound of our roommate fighting with their significant other, are all enough to heighten our senses and make our anxieties go haywire.

I used to live with two extroverts who often invited friends over and would stay up late blaring loud music, drinking, and socializing.

Don’t get me wrong, I like to have a good time! But what I didn’t appreciate was that this often happened with no prior notice. And for a highly sensitive introvert, not having time to mentally prepare for that sort of environment caused a lot of stress and anxiety.

There’s nothing wrong with having people over, just let us know in advance.

3. Personal space is sacred to introverts.

Introverts tend to be private, reserved people.

If our door is closed, it’s probably because we don’t want anyone to come in without knocking.

Our bedroom is typically where we go to recharge and get away from the world, and we prefer to keep it that way.

We are the same way about our personal belongings. If there is a closed notebook or computer laying on our bed and we found out someone came in our room and used it, we’ll freak out.

We’re not anti-sharing, just ask first.

4. It’s OK to compromise.

Most introverts probably grew up in households with at least one extrovert. So, we understand that we can’t always have everything exactly as we want it.

Compromise is key in any relationship — and this goes for both introverts and extroverts.

If you want to have a party on Friday night, just talk about it with your introverted roommate first. If the introvert needs to have a quiet night in, they should let you know about their plan.

Open communication about each of your needs and a willingness to compromise are the most important things when it comes to living with an introvert.

Living Happily Ever After With an Introvert

Introverts and extroverts can definitely live together happily as long as a mutual understanding of each others personalities and living preferences exists.

And as long as both parties are willing to accept and occasionally make compromises for each other.