I used to think that the side of me that feels “too much” was a burden — or even a curse. I hate feeling helpless and detached as if the world is fine without me in it. But, as an introvert, I also thrive in the safe comfort of my mind. Sometimes I have moments when I feel so energized to create new relationships that I’m okay with leaving that quiet peace for a while.

The problem happens when the new people I meet become confused when I retreat to recharge. I wouldn’t say I put on a facade. I’m a naturally curious person, and I love getting to know people. For me, people are the most interesting puzzle — delicately and meticulously designed.

I’m interested in how a person thinks, why they feel a certain way, why they think the way that they do — just about human nature in general. I like it when I get to help someone understand their inner thoughts.

But there are times when I get tired of doing this, and that’s when I know that to prevent a breaking point, it’s necessary to recharge my spiritual, emotional and psychological state.

6 Traits of People Who Feel “Too Much”

If you think you’re someone who feels “too much” you are not alone. Here are some of the things I’ve experienced as someone who feels emotions very strongly.

1. They Put Up High Emotional Walls

It’s easy for a deep feeler to know if they will click with a person after a few conversations. Yet, they give themselves time to see if they can trust them before they finally decide to open up. They realize that not everyone they open themselves up to actually cares about their feelings.

This emotional wall creates layers of precautions. Layers that took them years to build as a medium of protection against those who tried to strike their bare soul.

Someone pointed out how this emotional wall of mine makes them pay the price because they want to know what I’m really feeling but they can’t. That’s something I didn’t notice. I guess it proves just how blinding this wall can be. You don’t let others see what’s inside, and at the same time, you can’t see how they look at you from the outside.

2. They Care So Much — “Too Much”

People who feel “too much” can’t just let go easily. It’s not like they dwell on it day and night cursing people in their heads. They just think about it a lot. They think about how and why things went wrong and what they could’ve done to fix it.

When they enter a room full of people, they can sense the mood most of the time. And depending on what they’re feeling, they easily absorb most of those emotions. By absorbing, they don’t mean feeling it just at that moment and getting rid of it upon recognition. They soak up the feelings like a sponge.

Human emotions are like a labyrinth — too complicated and rooted in something much more profound. These feelings are somewhat overwhelming, so I developed a mechanism for myself to avoid my breaking point.

3. They Withdraw

When they notice that someone or something is overwhelming and draining, a deep feeler will retreat into their cave. Sometimes they’re too weak to say that they’re very drained, so they hide.

They carefully plan when and where to go beforehand just so they can avoid people. When it’s not possible to physically retreat, they will do it emotionally as well. They can become very cold and distant even though they’re just right in front of you.

Being drained is more than just lack of sleep. It is more than not having the energy to talk. Being drained is more than not having the appetite to eat. It is emptiness. Sadness. Limiting. Dreadful.

4. They “Door Slam”

“Door slamming” is another term for cutting people out of your life. It’s different from being petty and not talking to them because you want them to see your worth. Before the door slam, they’ve given the person multiple chances, explained their side, and have also given them opportunities to change their behavior.

If they don’t see this change happening, they let themselves have a proper grieving process for the lost friendship and then move on with their lives.

I’ve “door slammed” two close friends in my life, and it’s proven to be very useful for me to avoid toxic relationships. I tend to avoid confrontation because I cannot express my thoughts very well when I speak unless I’m given enough time to think first.

When there are no other ways, and a confrontation is necessary, I let it out. Letting it all out may make me look “too sensitive.” But what I’m letting out is something much more than the topic of an argument. It stems from all of the piled frustrations I’ve had that I should’ve confronted earlier.

5. They Experience Mental and Emotional Stress

When I get mentally and emotionally stressed, I neglect my physical well-being. I get sick and too frail to get out of bed. I eat fatty foods and snack on sweets in large portions.

During periods of emotional stress, I get completely out of sync with what I should be doing to take care of myself. I start making decisions irrationally with no account for future consequences. I get sick, I gain weight, and I feel more tired and frustrated. Then all of a sudden, I feel sad.

6. They Love Solitude

When deep feelers get overwhelmed, they tend to shut themselves off from the rest of the world. You might find them laying down on their bed, writing down their feelings, singing their hearts out or listening to music with all the lights off. As much as they want to rest, their minds don’t stop. They feel good when they think because they can plan the next step and break the cycle.

When I feel like hanging out with my friends, but they’re busy, I don’t mind staying in the library, taking long walks or going to cafes by myself. I take this time to appreciate my environment and explore my inner world.

Learning to See My Feelings as a Blessing

As I grow older, I’m learning so much more about myself and how to deal with my issues. I’m learning to consider my well-being in certain situations that are damaging and draining, instead of always putting others ahead of me to make sure they’re fulfilled and happy.

Communicating your feelings with friends and/or your significant other is key — but so is knowing when enough is enough. Don’t let someone make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself and for acknowledging when something isn’t working.

Feeling “too much” can be exhausting. Being drained makes me feel emotions I haven’t felt before, but it also reminds me that I will never feel complete by only relying on my own understanding. It reminds me that I am in need of guidance from Someone who is Higher than me and my emotions. I may have my own mechanism to make myself feel safe, but nothing can overpass God’s ability to calm my heart.

My intense feelings may have hurt me in the past and can still hurt me in the future, but one thing is for sure: they are blessings in disguise.