Love

The Perfect Match? INFJs and ENxPs

When it comes to romantic and platonic connections, it’s hard to define what attracts us to a person. As an INFJ, it can be especially hard to find someone who we feel a natural connection with. However, when that does happen it often seems to be with one of two types — ENTPs and ENFPs.

According to The Personality Page, these two types are the INFJ’s natural partner because of their dominant function, Extroverted Intuition, is the best match for our dominant function, Introverted Intuition. We’re basically two sides of the same coin.

As Intuition-dominant types, we each have most likely felt misunderstood by others, so it is refreshing to find someone who not only is interested in the same sort of ideas and conversations as we are but who understands them as well.

In The Science of Love, Chris Race expands on this topic when discussing relationships between INFJs and ENTPs:

“The ENTP and INFJ were meant to be together because the ENTP shares his intuition all the time. Most people do not like to hear intuitions and theory they don’t understand in conversations. The INFJ has the same skill at idea generation that the ENTP has. When the ENTP talks, the INFJ can listen and understand his very advanced intuitions. INFJ’s and ENTP’s both like systems. The INFJ finds people systems more interesting; the ENTP systems of things. When they communicate something special happens. The ENTP talks and the INFJ comprehends and listens automatically. That means the ENTP feels listened to and completely understood.”

Feeling understood isn’t the only attractive quality about an ENxP partner or friend. We may also feel understood by other NF types, like INFPs; other Ni-dom types, like INTJs; and of course, other INFJs. But there is something else about ENxPs that causes INFJs to be extremely attracted to these types:

ENxPs extrovert what INFJs introvert.

What that means is that what ENxP types show the outside world is what INFJs keep hidden. Even if we barely know the person, we’re attracted to their ability to put on display something that we can relate to, but often find a hard time putting into words.

To get a better understanding of this, let’s look at the functions:

INFJ: Ni Fe Ti Se
ENTP: Ne Ti Fe Si
ENFP: Ne Fi Te Si

You’ll notice that ENTPs have a common Ti and Fe and opposing Ne and Si. ENFPs functions are in the same order as INFJs but are all opposing on the extroverted/introverted spectrum. INFJs are drawn to both of these types for that reason. ENTPs are often considered better long-term partners for INFJs because the shared Fe and Ti functions help each type to better understand one another on two very important levels — thinking and feeling. However, ENFPs are extremely attractive to INFJs because they are on one hand so different, but yet the same. We may feel like they “complete us.”

As discussed, there are several pros to being in a relationship with an ENxP. However, like any relationship, there are going to occasionally be difficulties. Some cons to look out for when dating an ENxP:

-ENxPs are extroverts. Some INFJs are more introverted than others and may feel more comfortable with a partner who is also an introvert. ENxPs tend to be highly motivated, go-getter types and are often on the move, happiest when they are interacting with others and getting things accomplished. While this is an attractive quality, it can also be draining for an introvert.

-ENxPs are Perceivers. While their spontaneity can be initially attractive to an INFJ, over time the J/P difference can cause conflict in the relationship. The INFJ will become overwhelmed always being the one who has to take charge when it comes to making plans, and the ENxP may view the INFJ as bossy. However, J and P relationships can work great when both types are willing to understand and work with each other despite their differences. Read: How Js and Ps can Live in Harmony.

-ENFPs can have a hard time understanding INFJs feelings, and vice versa. ENFPs use Introverted Feeling, and any relationship between an Introverted Feeler and an Extroverted Feeler is going to come with issues. INFJs prefer to process their feelings verbally, while ENFPs prefer to process internally. INFJs may think the ENFP is being selfish after making a Fi-based decision because it might not take into consideration the feelings of others (Fe).

-The feeling thing can be an issue in ENTP and INFJ relationships as well. Even though ENTPs also have Fe in their top four function stack, they are still Rationals who operate mainly through logical thinking, not emotions. As stated on 16 Personalities:

“While ENTPs are more open-minded than other Analysts (NT) about others’ perspectives, they are also more likely to express their disdain for such things as emotional sensitivity in cuttingly well-phrased and clear terms, easily hurting their partners’ feelings without realizing it. ENTP personalities may even ignore their partners’ feelings altogether, instead immersing themselves entirely in some distant idea or opportunity.”

While these are all things to look out for in INFJ/ENxP relationships, they aren’t anything that can’t be worked through as long as each partner is willing to put in the effort of understanding the other and making compromises for the sake of the relationship. The emotional maturity of each partner is extremely important to the relationship’s success. An INFJ pursuing an emotionally immature ENxP will find themselves exhausted and hurt by the ENxPs carefree attitude towards relationships.

Keep in mind — INFJs can be in successful relationships with any personality type. I chose to write about the pros and cons with ENxPs because they are most commonly mentioned as our “ideal” type and I’ve received several messages from INFJs asking about relationships with ENTPs and ENFPs. If you’re still looking for the right person, I would advise that you not only seek out certain types but be open to anyone. You don’t want to miss out on finding your soulmate just because their function stack isn’t perfectly complementary with yours. Although, I personally think that both partners being aware of MBTI and how the functions work is important in creating a better understanding of each other and ultimately improving the relationship.


Megan is an introvert and INFJ personality type who enjoys reading, researching, and writing about personality psychology and human behavior. As the founder of this blog, Megan wants to help other INFJs better understand their personality to improve their personal and professional lives.

21 Comments

  1. My husband is an INFP. I like the introvert in him best but these qualities do compliment. Thanks for the post.

  2. my infj > your infj

    This is true in reverse as well. As an ENTP I can’t do anything without my INFJ. We’re basically inseparable friends and no one seems to understand that.

    Soon I’ll have to find a INFJ dude to marry though. #femaleENTPprobs

    Also, INFJs find this article (http://pleasebeniceto.me/wordpress/2011/11/caring-for-your-entp/) about dealing with ENTPs absolutely hilarious.

    We’re way too obsessed with MBTI.

    1. Haha, that article is too great! I’m going to share it on Tumblr/Twitter.

      Thanks for that, and good luck finding your INFJ man. 🙂

  3. Today’s Moment in Synchronicity | Introspektre

    […] Whether or not my post from earlier today has any weight in truth or something I pulled out of thin air, a few things I mentioned had eerie semblance to a blog post by Megan of infjblog.com today: The Perfect Match? INFJs and ENxPs […]

  4. Pretty much any ExxP/IxxJ couple is going to be a good match. The former is spontaneous, carefree, and fun, while the latter is disciplined, responsible, and reserved. Though I don’t take the cognitive functions seriously, I can see how the shared intuition can be dynamic. My opinion on INFJ matches is that ExFPs are the optimal choice, with ExTPs coming second. ENFPs are a good match in both ways (NF and ExxP), and ESFPs have a spiritual intelligence that INFJs will find fascinating.

  5. I don’t think I’m attracted to enxp types at all? I’m not sure if this a generalisation, but there’s an entp I’m trying very hard to avoid but can’t seem to because I have to see him at church and cell groups almost every week. There was a period i was emotionally quite unstable and he reached out to me cause I was looking for a new church, and amidst that I also divulged a bit too much. Now I feel like he keeps lingering around me and making conversation and I really don’t want to entertain him but I feel obliged to. I think it’s my fault for letting him in on too much, something very uncharacteristic of me (I was really under a lot of emotional stress). I’m just really hoping he just starts to take interest in someone else and leave me alone.

    1. As I typed that out I figured maybe would just tell him to leave me alone.. But my point is I don’t think enxp types are attractive to me at all..

      Pretty sure I’m infj, though intj and infp did show up once or twice..

    2. It sounds like he is trying to check on you to make sure you’re ok, since like you said you let him in on a lot of emotional things, and ENTPs enjoy helping people and also trying to “fix” things. But don’t feel obligated to spend time with him if you don’t enjoy it. Just because ENTPs are the INFJs “perfect match” according to MBTI, it doesn’t mean that every ENTP would be a great fit for every INFJ. Some INFJs may not like ENTPs much at all, and that’s fine too.

  6. I’m currently in a friendship/mutual attraction with an ENFP, and I almost feel like someone is trying to pull some sadistic, elaborate prank on me. The level of depth and mutual understanding that we’ve reached after speaking for only a few months is almost surreal.

    And yes, they definitely tend to vocalize what we’re thinking. I have a mischievous side, though my diplomatic side usually wins out when I’m socializing and get the odd urge to say something a bit shocking. My ENFP friend… not so much. I’ve told him that it’s like playing an RPG, picking the option I know is safest, but also having someone along who picks that “crazy” option that you sort of wish you had picked.

    1. i literally laughed out loud at this. i am an ENFP. i say what noone else will say all the time. it just pops out. i can filter some time, but if i am at all comfortable, and i would always be comfortable with an INFJ type standing nearby, there is no filter at all. I’ve noticed recently how this has the potential to concern those close to me, sometimes ones who know me well will get a look on their face and i can tell they are scared what i might say. it’s nice now learning when others are scared for me, because i am never scared by what i might say at all. god bless you for understanding 🙂

  7. Relationships: INFJs and NTs | INFJ Blog

    […] The biggest difference between INFJs and ENTPs is the J vs. P. ENTPs aren’t usually phased by disorder or lack of plans, both of which can cause stress for INFJs. However, these types can use their differences to learn and grow from one another. ENTP is often referred to as the “perfect type” for INFJs. (You can read more about that here.) […]

  8. Reblogged this on Bloom Daily and commented:
    After finding out that I actually have a personality type, even though it’s the rarest, I wanted to learn more about what an INFJ is all about. It’s surprisingly accurate, and an ENTP sounds heavenly. Seriously heavenly, the description of ENTP is everything I’d hope to spend my life with. Where art’ thou?

    Find out what your personality type is at http://www.16personalities.com and comment below.

  9. 6 things to know before moving in together | (500) Days of Engagement

    […] Know your personality type. I’m an INFJ and my fiancé is an ENTP (which is the perfect match). My fiancé would talk for 20 hours a day if left uninterrupted, which is great because it makes […]

  10. 6 things to know before moving in together - (500) Days of Engagement

    […] Know your personality type. I’m an INFJ and my fiancé is an ENTP (which is the perfect match). My fiancé would talk for 20 hours a day if left uninterrupted, which is great because it makes […]

  11. To be frank, I’m an INFJ and I prefer other INFJs. I’ve come across many people, but I find myself emotionally attracted best to the other INFJ types.

    1. Yes…that is true to some extent, but can also be one sided if INFJ and INFJ aren’t reading each other enough. Can be a reason for things to fall apart, strong IN need a balance of EN or ES to bring the magic out of INFJ shell. EN are talented in celebrating life and adapting to support IN buddies. Two IN works because they understand each other but, might be a bit bland…sometimes a INFJ needs a little ENxP spunk 😊

  12. Infj x ENFP best match. Yes when we are both at same maturity can be very beautiful relationship. T is too cutting, hurts F to much, they seem to lack the NF empathy a FP has, Sf could also be ok. I am enfp but have had success with Istj and would do well with ISFj but my ultimate dream lover is INFJ cause it’s the best for me, I love the Emo stuff as well as the intellect. Dream love. Oh yes intj also works I like them, inventors…though they would have to gave some sort of love / Emo that comes through. We care too much enfp so we need protection and someone who really cares too.

  13. ENTP's: Help an INFJ understand what do ENTPs like about INFJs?? <3

    […] of why the pairing in particular would work… if you're looking for the pairing in theory: The Perfect Match? INFJs and ENxPs | INFJ Blog This is Only a Test – The magic of the ENTP/INFJ duo Entp + infj The ENTP Gentleman's Field Guide […]

  14. Ditto that ! I need an INFJ, i don’t believe i know any right now. I have sensed for years and said out loud long before knowing about personality types that i need a protector. i have little respect for those that aren’t as they seem less than a whole person to me, as i am just a little feeling person that helps where i can and will ALWAYS stick up for the poor, sick, elderly, children, anyone oppressed by others no matter what the consequence so why can’t i find someone to be that for me. INFJs where are you? I would follow wherever you lead! LOL, but seriously! 🙂

  15. I have friends of both types, and while I love the emotional connection with ENFPs, I prefer ENTPs. Their Ti can be cutting to my sensitivity side at times, but I feel they sharpen my Ti-skills. I like the mature ones. Very charming and loyal. Our Ti-Fe and Fe-Ti can balance each other out quite well. ENFPs with their Fi-aux will cause more fiction. In my experience, ENFP have less to the degree of self-awareness than an INFP would. Fi-Fe conflict nature. I know a bunch of ENFPs and I like only three of them. Because Fe focus outside of themselves and often verbalise their feelings, it’s easier to clear up any miscommunication. With Fi, it’s not expressed and it’s easily misinterpreted. Both types are tactful in how they communicate their needs which can help the INFJ…At the same time, both types can easily make assumptions due to Ne and can cause the INFJ lots of frustration, leading to feeling misunderstood.

  16. Relationships: INFJs and NTs – INFJ Blog

    […] INFJgal on The Perfect Match? INFJs and ENxPs […]

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