Learning to Love My INFJ Personality Type

As an INFJ personality type, I’m constantly mesmerized by articles and blogs written by or about other INFJs. Since INFJs account for only around 1 percent of the population, it’s interesting that many of the INFJs in the world have found a safe haven to share with each other in the guise of the internet.

However, a constant worry for me is the number of articles about the struggles of the INFJ. There is no end of blogs and websites devoted to the sorrow of being an INFJ. So, I wanted to write about the joys of being an INFJ.

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Before Discovering My INFJ Personality

My early childhood as an INFJ was difficult. I was wary of, well, everyone and everything. As a teenager, I used my Extraverted Feeling function to fit in at school. I was even one of the popular kids (even though I’d suddenly contract a fake illness before parties).

When I was young, I didn’t know my personality type. In my 20s and 30s, I believed everyone shared my need to know what more is out there and how the mind works.

When I had my son, I struggled with being a new mum. My world was blown wide open by this tiny thing. I imagined all sorts of things that could happen to him under my watch and wondered if someone else could take better care of him. I was at my most lonely during this time as a new INFJ parent.

Years later, after forging and maintaining an amazing relationship with my ENTP son, I started working with teenagers as a school counselor.

My fascination with how the mind works was satisfied. Then, I discovered that I felt differently from many people about the young adults I worked with. Many of the students were not coping well with school. Some of them were exhibiting extreme anti-social behaviors.

I got into quite a bit of trouble in the early years of my counseling career. The more stern and institutionalized teachers saw me as a trouble-maker. This was because I saw and suggested new ways to deal with these young people (which did not include detention, exclusion and isolation, but understanding).

I had an ability — most likely due to my Introverted Intuition and Extraverted Feeling — to see what the young person needed and to put plans in place to support them.

Still wanting more, I trained with a spiritualist church to become a psychic medium. I found myself quickly in demand via friends and family to give readings and talk to their dead loved ones. I had success in my short-lived psychic career but I never really “got it.”

I’ve always believed that every soul emits a unique debris which I think of as invisible glitter. Wherever the person goes they leave a trace. Some people and places have more glitter than others. Yet everywhere a human soul has been will be touched by it.

It’s for this reason that my personal belief is that psychic readings are born from having an advanced empathetic link with the person for whom the reading is given. I found myself counseling my clients rather than simply giving the reading. I struggled to reconcile with taking money for this and felt incredibly exposed, mentally.

Learning About My INFJ Personality Type

It was around this time that I discovered the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I read it and then immediately read it again. I was an introvert. This explained why I didn’t like parties, felt physically ill after prolonged exposure in open-plan offices and sometimes wanted to curl up in front of the TV watching rubbish reality TV (I still do, it’s my guilty pleasure!).

Unfortunately, I took this side of my personality literally. I spent a long period of time “being an introvert,” which meant saying no to almost all social engagements.

After some time, I felt something wasn’t right and I again set myself off on a voyage of personal discovery. It was then that I discovered the MBTI. I’m an INFJ! I devoured every piece of information I could find about personality type — books, blogs and everything else.

Through this process, I learned that yes, I am an introvert, but I am also a lover of people and even (some) social gatherings. I realized why I would wake up some mornings dreading the thought of going to work to have my head exposed, only to come home knackered but energized!

Loving Myself as an INFJ

At the age of 47, I’m finally growing into my personality and learning to understand and accept others. I’ve allowed myself to enjoy my work, and blend my love of writing with my personal experiences and need to give back. I started a blog to help teenagers, educators and parents with their problems. I’ve also rejuvenated my novel and am determined to finish it.

I’m proud to be an INFJ personality type. I celebrate my idiosyncrasies and feel more confident than ever in who I am — partly because I take the time to understand who I’m not.

If you’re an INFJ reading this post, tap into your inner smile and celebrate your uniqueness!